Coming Head To Head
How To Ask A Good Question
Successful people ask better questions, and as a result, they get better answers.
Questions contribute nothing to a conversation and tell her nothing about you. Too many questions make it feel like a job interview. Statements can often replace questions.
It’s unavoidable asking questions in a conversation especially if you’ve just met someone for the first time. Whether you’re talking to a man or women the need to keep the interaction engaging is essential if you plan to build rapport.
Look at it like this – The need to ask the right question in business or when learning anything, can determine your success or failure, that’s just common sense. When it comes to social interaction your intent is to build rapport (bond). To personally experience a shared event.
Asking question after question, will chip the fun away, leading to boredom and of course, threatening the other person on an emotionally level (interrogation). Statements on the other hand can pop up throughout a conversation, entices the other person/s interest and keeps the interaction flowing in a more fun and positive way.
Don’t get me wrong, you need to know how to ask a good question, but when socializing with someone you just met, the rule tends to be open ended questions (the 5 W’s), and statement. Keep the conversation flows naturally.
So to make this post a bit more interesting, the focus will be around dating and rapport building.
One of the reasons why these questions work when it comes to rapport building is because you’re both allowing each other time to make a statement or add a story. Of course, the above questions are weighted, but if you’re looking for a real answer, they have to be.
Anyway, to explain this in more detail:
Here’s a list for great advice, tips and how to information (all free) about questions and statements. Enjoy:
- * The Secret Of Conversation Flow: In this article Dan Wendler talks about “conversation flow” by using the simple principles of invitation and inspiration. It’s all pretty much common sense, but when you use this principle with what you know about questions and statements, well, achieving great conversational flow becomes easier.
- * How to Be Amazingly Good at Asking Questions: This comes from Mike Martel from Lifehack. It kind of goes through the same thing as the above link, but comes across more friendly, social and less business driven. A great read.
- How To “Stealth Seduce” Women With Milton Erickson Trance-Talk: (Another dating for men post). The only reason for adding Jesse’s post here is simple because I know using the right statement can build trust. He talks about conversational hypnosis (another free ebook here) when talking to women.
- Ten Tips for Asking Good Questions: OK, I know this article/how to is from a business point of view, but lets face it – it’s good advice.