Shadows Within A Dream – (Part 1)
Summer 1981, Northern England
I was lucky growing up, unlike some I had a loving family. Sure, there were times where frustration would get the better of us, but that’s the way life goes. You take the ups with smiles and laughter, and when life punches you on the chin, you pick yourself up, shake it off, and get back in the game. Like most children all I cared about was the next adventure, the opportunity to play in the most creative way.
If you ask some one what’s their best quality, they may tell you it’s their strength, or ass, or even their glowing optimism. Me, it was my imagination.
It always found a way to bring out a smile, even on the coldest of days. I took it for granted like all children do, lost in their own world, living in the moment. It was easier to do it back then, snuggled up beneath the warm shield my family radiated.
Of course as we grew, the need to spread our wings became stronger. Eventually as time moved on, all four of us left the home releasing the bonds that held us to our parents. The distance pulled at our ties, and weathered the links to the past, but our connection that was forged through fire and water, never shattered.
And even looking back at these days knowing what I know now. I still can feel the happiness and joy of a life with endless possibilities. I can still feel that spark I once had so many years ago. Like I’m being drawn to it by a faint whisper of a “hello. Remember me?!” Having said that, there are days where I’m ashamed to admit it, I don’t. I forget the dreams of past ambitions that used to pulse threw my veins, and I allowed my aspirations of youth to drift off into shades of grey.
But life like an old friend it always finds a way to bring back the color, the rich sounds of laughter, the broad smiles, the warmth of compassion, and the knowing, that life isn’t built on luck but one of choice. It’s almost comical the true depth of that meaning and the power it holds.
I often thought what life would be like if I when back to that younger me with the wisdom I hold now. But my mind and the way it works stops me simply with three words, “cause and effect”. How could I change my past without losing one, some, or all I hold dear. Options as it would seem from a personal point of view, comes with limits. So I’m left pondering, more by design these days. Just another “food for thought” from Ms Jinny Kim. A beautiful looking woman I’ve been tasked to watch over while she visited the Ayahuasca Retreat in Peru. To her I was another tourist, someone to connect with along her journey of finding her deeper meaning of life.
From the start, I was intrigued. While being briefed on my new principle (Ms Jinny Kim) it was like something from a masonic thriller. All the attributes were there, the symbols, suggestions of dark magic, and crazy old bastards with too much money. Then, when I was told I was going to end up in a humid hut, tripping my nuts off with 11 other people, I started to laugh. The response from my CO (commanding officer) colonel M Smith, almost made me laugh harder. “Don’t worry about the drugs Alex, nothing is going to happen at the retreat. We just need you to bond with Ms Kim before Machu Picchu”. The Ayahuasca Package included a tour along the Inca trail. Which I have to admit, a part of the mission I was looking forward to.
Taking DMT on the other hand put me on edge.
That uneasy feeling grew the moment a young man walked in, as if on cue, wearing a lab coat that looked like it was just bought ten minutes ago. I turned to look at Smith, “ya kidding me, right?” With a slightest shake of his head in disbelief, and then a quick nod towards the new guest, “this is one of the new researchers from the pantry. Tim this is Alex” he said with a wave of his hand. The pantry, you’ve got to love those names I thought while smiling at the new comer.
“So Tim, you have much use for a lab coat in the pantry?” I asked. “Not much, no.” He said with a modern twist to an old English accent. He clearly came from heritage, good stock as they used to say. “I work mostly with data,” he continued. “It would seem, I’m part of a practical joke” he added while glancing back towards the door. Miss Morgan’s handy work no doubt.
Colonel Smith’s secretary was a short stocky woman with a fast wit, a warm smile and a love for winding up the new recruits. Maybe it was her way of saying, don’t mess with me, who knows. On my first day she super glued my hand to Smith’s Coffee mug. “Be a dear and take this to Smith on your way in, will you love?” The crafty little witch!
“Tim I’ve asked you up here to help Alex understand the finer points of DMT,” Smith said breaking me back from my thoughts…
End of “Shadows Within A Dream” part one